Wednesday, December 31, 2008
Trying to clean up the house after the Christmas hub-bub and being sick for a week, I enlisted the aid of JA and he was not happy. Not one bit. I could see the anger sweep across his face. Some days are like that. They come unexpectedly without warning and, consequently, without preparation on my part.
Handing him his shoes resulted in them being thrown back at me. I tried to make light of it, keeping a smile on my face and coaxing him to do the same. One wrong turn on my part brought him right on top of me. It isn't anything a bag of ice can't cure, but the emotional injury seems to run so much deeper.
For some reason, JA ran outside and his brother locked the door behind him, hopefully giving him a little time to cool off. It didn't work. A chair came crashing through JA's bedroom window, the one that sat on the front porch with flowers in it. Not any more.
He is hurt now. Cuts on his toes from broken glass and his hand still aching from the act of hitting the chair against the wooden side of the window frame. I feel guilty thinking that it is his own fault.
I helped him walk in the house, dressed his wounds (not as bad as I had originally thought) and cried for him. His brother cleaned up the mess.
The thought occurs to me that, quite possibly, one day I could die as a result of one these angry fits, when he is older and stronger and I am older and more unsteady. Yet I still try to make things better for him now. To teach him and show him how much his actions hurt and to let him know that, while I am angry for what he has done, I still love him. It is that faint line of understanding that this life will not be like the next that keeps me going. I know that one day he will be able to articulate his emotions and frustrations instead of using force to deal with them. I know that one day he will not be encumbered with the things that bind him now.
Those are the days I long for. Those and the good days here, when he is my bright, shining child who beams love at every turn.
Until that time, I will do my best to understand the complications that cause these horrific moments. I will do my best to be the mom who loves him and not the mom who despises him because of something he cannot always help doing.
One day we will be together, conversing with our voices not our hands, gaining an intimate knowledge of each other that now eludes us, locking ourselves in a mother-child union that cannot be broken.
One day. I will wait.
Tuesday, December 30, 2008
See how her wings curl up? That means she's happy. And that mushroom she is perched upon? Magical, and non-poisonous.
Her clothing is made from scraps of vintage dictionary pages and a few from Shakespeare that the fairy found in a nearby run-down shack. Dew drops and spider silk now protect her clothes from the weather. An acorn cap sits jauntily upon her head to keep her tiny pointed ears warm.
Sunday, December 28, 2008
Believe it or not, when I am reading through this catalogue, I feel better. My thoughts travel to the out-of-doors to warmer days and plunging my trowel into the earth and placing tiny seeds in shallow troughs. My fingers trail over them, giving them a warm blanket of dirt to keep them protected until the place around them is warm enough to stir them into action. I love seeds.
I grew the Sultan's Golden Crescent beans last summer. They are on the bottom row, center. Wildly productive and very delicious, I am looking forward to having them dress my garden once again.
Potatoes of every shape, size and color entice this girl to get better, if only to begin preparing the garden plot for the arrival of spring.
Ah, yes. Seed catalogues. They warm the cockles of my heart.
Friday, December 26, 2008
She is still waiting to hold something sweet in her hands and I have to make a trip to the craft store to get what I want. How is it that my craft room is so lacking in the proper supplies? That would be why she is still here and was not under Dayna's tree yesterday.
Thursday, December 25, 2008
I have been fighting being sick since Tuesday. I obviously have not fought hard enough, as I awoke last night coughing up a storm, aching in every part of my body and dripping things from my nostrils that should only be found dripping from waste pipes at an industrial site. One look in the mirror revealed a comical picture- me, hair wildly sticking up and a nose as red as a cherry tomato. Oh, joy. Oh, rapture. I looked like a cross between Rudolph, the angry elfen choir director and the Abominable Snowman all wrapped into one untidy package. Pretty. Not.
But, Christmas morning arrived all the same. Children were awakened (probably because I was coughing so loudly they couldn't sleep any longer) and presents were opened. It was a lovely, peaceful time.
My mom and dad and our friend's came for breakfast and gift-exchanging. The friends are flying to England today. They will arrive in time for celebrating Boxing Day tomorrow. Lucky them. The hustle about the house gave me enough energy to make fried dough and lay it out on the table with bacon, fruit salad, orange juice and egg nog.
Now that breakfast is over and dinner is hours away, I am going to go take a DayQuil, slather myself in Vick's Vapo Rub and take a nap, probably to dream about Rudolph and his friends.
Still, it has been a very happy Christmas morning here at the S house.
I hope it has been at yours as well.
Wednesday, December 24, 2008
Monday, December 22, 2008
But the chickens may just freeze, poor things!
Quick, run to the coop, (I've cleaned all the poop),
And hide your heads under your wings, poor things!*
I let the girls out today, so they might get a little bit of exercise. Well, exercise they did! It was 30 degrees today, and the wind made it feel much colder. What can a hen to do to stay warm? Run like a chicken with..... Um, well, you know.
Unless, of course, you are Flora. Then you slip into something a bit more stylish and seasonal.
Thursday, December 18, 2008
That is a gift in itself, to have that kind of innocence. It keeps it magical here at our house. Well, not that magical. I still have decorations in their boxes and the tree went up last night. Only the tree. We will decorate it when we are all together, on Saturday night.
These are some sneak peeks at what I am making for my children. One top is finished and I have one in progress and one more to make.
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
You may know it by a different name-goulash, American chop suey, Cub Scout Special-but for me it will always be the very basic hamburger and macaroni combination that my Grandmother Kimball made for us.
In a large skillet (preferably cast iron), sprinkle the hambuger with salt, pepper and celery salt and brown. In a separate pan, saute the onion in 2T butter until transparent. Add onion and butter to ground beef and continue to brown until you get some caramelized bits in the ground beef, which just gives it much more flavor. Add the stewed tomatoes and heat through.
Sunday, December 14, 2008
Be sure to pause the Christmas music so that you can enjoy her sweetness all on its own.
Once upon a time... from Capucha on Vimeo.
How cute is that?
Saturday, December 13, 2008
Thursday, December 11, 2008
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
We are under a tornado watch here in Georgia, until three this afternoon. The girls will not come out of the hen house, Rilo does not want to go outside to go potty and the laundry is drying in the front hall.
What's it like at your house?
Tuesday, December 9, 2008
I have filled it with little bits and bobs that a quilter and novice knitter would love to have. See the Brittany knitting needles sticking out of the top? They are the best. Yarn just seems to glide across them and they have a very soft feel in your hands. You can knit for hours and not get tired. (You may get bored, but your hands will feel great.)
And you don't have to stop with just filling the jar! You can add things to the outside and tie them up with a pretty bow and add to the joy!
The one that I received contained all sorts of wonderful treats. It is amazing how many things you can get into such a small jar. It fairly defies the laws of nature.
Sunday, December 7, 2008
I am fine with being a mom of adults, who are ready to move on and start their lives. I really am. But I loved being their mother, having them here with me to laugh at silly jokes, eat freshly baked cookies, turn up their nose at dinner, wipe away tears or to just give them a hug.
It is funny how families work. You are in the same house, eating at the same table, watching the same television and yet you are not always engaged. I think, for me, that their presence is sometimes just enough.
It is that way with my husband as well. I can be in one part of the house and he in another and, even though we are not communicating, I am still content because he is here.
Now, two of my children are not here, and I miss them. I will never have a completely empty nest because I have a child who cannot fledge. (Although there are some days I wish he would.)
This is the part of motherhood that is joyous and painful all at the same time- having raised your children to be strong, independent adults and realizing that, just maybe, you did too good of a job.
So, today I walk into a cold, empty room and miss the girl that brought it life and warmth. There are still a few of her things here, waiting to be taken to her new home and some that will stay for a while.
Speaking of which, would anyone like a cat? She left five of them. Oh, joy. Oh, rapture.
Friday, December 5, 2008
Thursday, December 4, 2008
The first two are not quite finished. They are still in need of hair, hats, and in the case of the first one, some decorations on the skirt.
This one is for my daughter. She has been the cat girl since she was very little. Her skirt is made from pinked coffee filters that look like porcelain when coated in diamond glaze.
This little elf is for my oldest son. He plays the guitar and the bass, so I thought he needed one in his hands. Pretty cool, huh?
And here is my other son's elf. He is holding candy cane rope, ready to decorate the house. (Which is what JA loves to do -help Mom decorate for Christmas.) I love his acorn hat and fuzzy wool hair. hee hee. He is so darn cute.
When all is said and one, these three elves will be ornaments to hang on the tree. I rather like the fact that I have made them for my children instead of rushing off to Hallmark to buy an ornament for them. These are much more personal and very full of love.
Wednesday, December 3, 2008
swirling across the roadway
like a water spout on the ocean.
I am untouched
but for a place deep inside me,
that fills with awe and wonder.
I am changed.
The liquid black fades away,
smearing through the blue
like ink trailing from a nib.
The grackles are going home.
written by Karin Smith, Dec.3, 2008
Tuesday, December 2, 2008
After a few failed attempts, I finally developed a pattern that worked. I love the blanket stitching around the edge, and the colors are very Christmasy- all wool felt and a sweet cotton polka dot.
Monday, December 1, 2008
Sunday, November 30, 2008
For those that love seafood as much as my family does, I am sharing the recipe for this superb casserole.
Saturday, November 29, 2008
I just love her whimsical little elves. They are so cute and make me smile.
So, pop on over to Brainiac's Daughter. Go. Now! Quick!
Oh, Brainiac is our dad.
Having a three year-old here the past few days has certainly eased the mood in my house. She is the cutest darn thing ever. I asked her yesterday morning if she had had a good sleep. "Oh, yes, I did." was her reply. How can you not love a kid like that?!
Gayle, Bruce and the cutie-pie went to Stone Mountain last night, to enjoy a bit of Christmas, Georgia style. It was a drizzly night but that did not spoil the excitement for them. I asked said cutie what her favorite thing was. "Buying the tickets!" I can absolutely see why. It is through the little gate of the ticket house that you see the magical sight that awaits you. I can only imagine the anticipation she was feeling. Christmas through the eyes of a three year-old is the only way to fly.
We will be going later in Dec., when Nathan comes home from California. It would not be the same without him.
Today is craft day here at the S house. It is rainy and a bit chilly- the perfect combination for creating things of a Ho-Ho-Ho nature. You have to see the adorable elves my sister has made. I will post a few pictures on my blog later so that you can do just that. I am doing my best to convince her to start an Esty shop. If I am successful, I will post the link.
I'm the big sister, so I am sure I will be able to twist her arm. ;)
Have a happy weekend, dear friends!
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
Yesterday, on a rainy, cold Monday, I took Bentley for his last ride. We went to the vet, where he was given a shot that let him drift into an endless sleep.
Bentley had cancer, and not wanting to see him suffer, we chose to end his life. It was the hardest decision I have ever had to make.
I stayed with him in his final moments, stroking his head and whispering to him how much I loved him. He was my shadow for so long, that I can still sense him nearby.
The house feels emptier today. I miss him laying under the table in the family room, standing beside me waiting for a bit of my breakfast, lying at my feet while I sew. His presence is everywhere and no where.
My heart is broken in a place I did not know I had. It hurts terribly and I hope that one day I will be able to think about him without crying, or wishing I could bring him back.
I am taking comfort in the fact that he, a creature of his Heavenly Father, is in a special place with Him. I have always thought that pets, when they die, wait for their owners. I hope that is true, because I cannot imagine an eternity without his companionship. I wanted to stay in the room with him forever, not wanting to let go yet knowing that it had to be.
As I said goodbye, I left him with a kiss and a whisper, "Wait for me, okay?"
I know he will.
Monday, November 24, 2008
Sunday, November 23, 2008
With a tremor in her voice, she told us that someone had slashed her tires at some point during the night. All four of them.
My mom mode kicked into high gear as I listened to her relay the details of what had happened when she discovered them. Thankfully, a sheriff's officer was driving by and they waved him down to report the crime. He jokingly said to my daughter, "Gee. You must have really made someone mad." She responded that she did not know how as she was not from there and had not spoken to anyone other than her friends. All they did was go to the beach and walk, then went to dinner. And someone decided that her car needed to be damaged.
The car had to be towed to the local WalMart and she needed to have money wired to her as soon as possible so she could pay for the new tires. $300 worth of new tires.
I am in disbelief that someone would randomly come and stab some one's tires. What possessed them to do such a thing? Did they think of what would happen when it was discovered? Did they think of the consequence of their action? How it propelled us into a frenzy of trying to scrape together the money on a Sunday and have it wired to her? Did they think it was funny? Or cool?
How does someone damage another's property with such blatant disregard? Had the same thing happened to them, I wonder how they would have felt. Shocked, violated, angry, hurt? That is how my daughter felt. And now, she is waiting to have new tires put on her car at the WalMart. I am grateful that she was not there when the tires were damaged. I am grateful to the sheriff's officer who came to her aid. I am grateful to the woman at the WalMart service center for taking such good care of her.
I cannot wait for her to come home, so I can give her a big hug. And tell her the she cannot go anywhere again.
On a happier note, we have three darling kittens (thank goodness no more), all with cinder kisses upon their heads. They are sweet and adorable and Baby Jude is being a very good big brother. These new babies will make my daughter very happy and will, I hope, take away the sourness of this weekend.
I think I'm going to go take a peek at them myself.
Saturday, November 22, 2008
I want to gobble him up, he's so darn cute. He will shortly be placed atop his permanent home- a sweet box that will be filled with treats for someone special.
So, as you can see, there are big doin's at the Smith household today. I'm off to unfreeze the hen's water. It's too blasted cold today! It was 19 degrees when I woke up this morning! In Atlanta! This is just too much.
I think I will stay in my nice, warm craft room today.
Friday, November 21, 2008
This is one of the snow people. Isn't he cute? He's all glitzed up for Christmas with sparkly glitter and staying warm with his earmuffs.
How perfect will this be carrying a nice big picnic quilt? Or maybe laundry? Or beach towels? Or groceries?
Tuesday, November 18, 2008
In my craft room are two little pixies I found in an estate sale. They are adorable and perfect for Christmas. They each had a turn having their picture taken and then I printed them on card stock and cut them out.
Monday, November 17, 2008
He was dressed in black, pants pooled about his feet, jacket slung low on one shoulder and his red hat cocked to one side. Head down he began walking slowly across the roadway. I am certain he knew I was coming and yet he carried on as if he had no regard for his own safety or the speed at which I was traveling. I quickly stepped on the brake pedal and came to a complete stop- three feet away from him.
There were a few things I noticed about him that disturbed me. First, he could clearly see that there was no one coming behind me. Why did he not wait? Second, he never looked at me. Not once. Even as I was stopped in front of him, he looked straight ahead. Third, he never flinched. His life was in danger and he kept slowly walking across the road and swung himself up onto the median wall.
I could only think that he was challenging me, to see if I would stop or swerve out of his way. This was a young man in possession of the height of arrogance- You will stop. You will yield to me. Intimidation must be his contant companion.
I was so shocked and angry I could not even lay my hand upon the car horn. Had I done so, I wonder what his reaction would have been. Was he seeking that? Did he want me to get out and shout at him so that he could retaliate in some way? I will never know. I just sat there silently.
I do know this much- this is a young man with no regard for himself or others. Who feels that he is in charge of his surroundings and is used to getting his way. There are quite a few words I could use to describe him; brazen, bold, arrogant, confrontational, uncaring, disrespectful, self-centered.
Perhaps that is a snap judgement on my part though. He may be none of those. He may have thought he had enough time. Maybe he did not look at me because he was embarrassed that he chose to cross in front of me and he didn't flinch because he just wanted to get out of the way. The answer to that question will remain unknown.
But for now I am grateful that I saw him, that I did not sneeze or answer a phone call or adjust the radio and that I was able to stop, giving him three feet between life and death.
Three feet. It is not very much.
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
Tuesday, November 11, 2008
I discovered these two sweet books at the Goodwill and I thought they would be a perfect gift for a little girl that is coming to visit at Thanksgiving. Her name is Mia, and she is the 3 year-old daughter of my sister's boyfriend. I cannot wait to meet her.
The little girl who owned these books wrote her name and age in them. Cute, but I really don't want to leave it there. What to do, what to do........
Going through my scrapbook papers, I chose two that coordinated with the book covers. I measured the inside cover, cut the paper and glued it in with my yummy glue stick. One of my favorite things to do is to add a graphic black and white check as a little pop.
Voila! "New" inside covers that are bright and cheery, and unwritten upon. A vintage book plate adds just the right touch. Thank goodness little LeeAnn did not write all through the book!
I'm a bit tired of the mismatched decor we have lived with for years on end. Careful thought will go onto the new look. It may take me a while, but the adventure is going to be fun.
This is the before of the craft room. Oh, dear. What a mess! Every surface covered, not even a place to sit.
This part of the craft room is waiting for a makeover. My children gave me two rolls of Cath Kidston wallpaper for my birthday two years ago. I think it's time it went on the wall. Up until today, you could not even walk in this part.
After cleaning both rooms, I have accumulated four large garbage sacks for the Goodwill, and three large bags of trash. Really, who keeps trash lying about? Apparently, I do.
Monday, November 10, 2008
Apparently, I have a problem. A huge one. It has been a part of me for as long as I can remember.
It started out innocently enough. Friends called to say they were coming over for a visit and I flew through the house like a witch on a broom collecting things that did not belong out and about. Opening the door to my bedroom, I shoved these things into any available space I could find. Some of them have never been seen again. That's how bad I am!
My husband does not say a word, which only compounds my guilt at using our bedroom like a garage. I cannot even tell you the last time that it was neatly decorated and a place where I want to be instead of plowing through crap to get to the bed. I believe the word is never.
Today I began the process (yes, it is definitely a looong process) of cleaning out and organizing in the abyss. Oh, dear. Clouds of dust erupted from every flat surface. Items that once lay on tables and chairs in the rest of the house gathered dog hair and dust bunnies on the floor around them. As you can see, I am being graphically honest here. "Keepin' it real!" as the Pioneer Woman would say. I am hanging my head in shame.
It isn't that I want my bedroom to be the garbage dump of my house, it just happened to turn out that way. I look longingly at photographs of bedrooms in magazines and drool over crisply made beds, candles illuminating the walls, dreamy curtains blowing in the breeze and an afghan tossed casually (and stylishly) over the end of the bed. My afghan lies in a heap on the floor.
I think I have lost focus. I also think I have too much stuff. Really. I am working on that.
Here is where I need your help- What are the things that you do to make your bedroom a haven? I am so in need of one.
Saturday, November 8, 2008
Starting with three eggs, courtesy of Mavis, Flora and Blanche, I beat them well without addition of water or milk. Pure, eggy goodness is what is required here.
Choose a nice, crisp apple and cut it up into pieces, peel included-that's where a lot of the vitamins are. (This part of the recipe makes enough for two small omelettes.) In a sauté pan, place 1T butter and 1/4 cup water. Add the apples along with 2 T dark brown sugar, a pinch of ground clove, 1/8 tsp freshly ground nutmeg , 1/2 tsp cinnamon and a pinch of salt. Cook over medium heat until apples are just fork tender and the liquid has formed a dark syrup that coats each piece like spicy silk.
Make your omelette, slide it out onto a pretty plate and slip the apple mixture inside one half and fold the other half over. Now here is were you can make any additions, like grated sharp cheddar cheese or, believe it or not, a tidge of peanut butter. Just not both together, ok?
Pour yourself a cold glass of milk, sit back and enjoy one of the yummiest, warming bites of comfort food you have ever eaten.
Speaking of comfort, I won a giveaway over at The Joy of Nesting, Pattie's blog. She sent me a lovely package of traditional Mexican fabric swatches, a beautiful patchwork bag, tiny flash cards that have the words in Spanish (so that I will now know what I am talking about) and a folk art cross.
I love each and every piece that came to me. Thank you so much, Pattie. They have sparked my imagination and I cannot wait to begin creating with such sweet gifts.
Now, go make an omelette!!
Wednesday, November 5, 2008
Not my fellow jurors. No, they were a lot of fun to be with. But the process (if you could call it one) was excruciatingly s.l.o.w. Sit and wait, take a short break, sit and wait some more. Ad nauseum.
We were quite a diverse group. There were a few teachers, a builder, moms (me included), a financial planner, retirees, young and old, men and women.
We sat in what proved to be the coldest location in the court house. The woman at the desk delighted in informing us that there was nothing they could do about the frigid air blowing from the vents. The donning of sweaters was de regeur and even then it was still cold. But, we had claimed that room as ours, bonded together as a group and nothing, freezing temperatures included, could make us move to a warmer locale.
The crackle of the speaker would bring a voice listing a series of numbers of potential jurors and we each held our breath waiting to see if one of us would be among them. I was number 150. My hopes were not that high that I would be called early on.
I believe that during my three days at the Henry County Courthouse, I drank my weight in diet Coke, munched on a few granola bars and wore off the calories consumed by crocheting granny squares. I almost wasn't even allowed to do that.
Coming in on Monday, I spied a woman knitting an afghan. "Perfect!", I thought. I would be able to work on my squares. Tuesday morning found me going through the security line with my knitting bag only to have someone say, "Stop! Scissors!" Whoops. My tiny embroidery scissors. I forgot they were in the bag. I had to relinquish them to the top desk drawer.
The security guard then asked if I had needles in my bag. I pulled out my crochet hook to show him. My wooden crochet hook, without a point.
"We're not supposed to let you in with pointed objects."
"Really, I saw a woman knitting yesterday and that is the only reason I brought mine today. And the hook is not pointed and it's made of wood!"
" Well, it's still pointy and her needles might have been plastic."
"So is the pen in my purse."
"Oh, alright. You can take it in with you. Will you be crocheting today?"
"Yes and thank you." Seriously, why else would I have six skeins of yarn and a crochet hook? To tie people up and poke their eyes out? Do I look like someone who would come armed with a handmade weapon and a nefarious intent? Criminy willikers!
The third day of my adventure finally brought me to a court room, where I was dismissed as a potential juror because I knew someone in law enforcement. Back to the jury pool for me. I found myself feeling a bit disappointed. It would have been interesting to see how the process works in real life, without the cleverly scripted dialogue and scenes found on television.
Hours more passed by, lunch was consumed, baby gifts purchased during a break and then back to the refrigerator for a few more hours of boredom. Everyone was getting antsy.
At four-twenty pm, we were released of our duties, and sent home with a "Thank you." from the woman behind the desk. Surrendering our traverse juror tags into the bucket, shoulders straightened, bounces came back to steps, we filed out of the courthouse into the lazy afternoon sun and wended our merry ways home.
I hope that I don't get called back for a very long time.
Monday, November 3, 2008
Anyway- Inspired by the lovely Dawn's nature journal, I created one of my own. Using a rather tatty antique photo album I bought in Kentucky, I glued, stamped and bejeweled to my heart's content.
The page on the right holds a pin from long ago, perhaps one worn to a dance or an evening soiree. The page on the left says "comfort", something we all desire.
A chipper little chickadee sparkles and shines next to another blank sheet.
Mementos from a happy past.